Resigning Gives Amnesty

Didn't You Know?

Thousands of felons in Australian prisons have, today, launched appeals against their convictions, arguing that their crimes were nullified by resigning from their jobs.

Given the string of political figures successfully doing the same recently, this strategy might be expected to work at first glance. However, the prisoners are unaware of the ‘No Foul’ rules written in fine print in western legal structures. The rules are simple:

No Foul Rules

• If your crimes were committed using taxpayer money, No Foul.

• If your crimes were of sufficient magnitude that enough people are culpable along with you, No Foul.

• If your victims were successfully gaslit, censored, propagandised or psychologically abused enough that they cannot readily identify your crimes, No Foul.

• If your crimes were mirrored by other tyrants, fraudsters or treasonous institutions, No Foul.

• If your crimes were conducted with the support of any military, media, judicial or police accomplices, No Foul.

• If you can successfully distract your victims with referendums or elections which you have no right to preside over, No Foul.

• If your crimes were in response to a fictitious emergency, No Foul.

• If discussing or prosecuting your crimes would make regular people uncomfortable with their own morality, No Foul.

• If your crimes disproportionately affected lower socioeconomic groups, foreigners or hippies, No Foul.

• If you are a public figure and you resign before charges can be brought against you, No Foul.

Status Quo Will Remain

Hence, the prisoner’s appeals will almost certainly fail. Thankfully, these rules will keep those dangerous Marijuana dealers behind bars, and allow the parasites of society to continue siphoning wealth, health and freedoms from regular folk without the tedium of accountability.